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ROCKLOPEDIA FAKEBANDICA!!!

just a line

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just a line

F


F. F. and Captain John - From the movie The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990). Thanks to Charles for this one.

Fabulous Baker Boys, The - In the 1989 movie The Fabulous Baker Boys, real life brothers Jeff and Beau Bridges play brothers and pianists Jack and Frank Baker, lounge act types who decide to add a female singer to make their act more competitive. The singer is Susie Diamond (Michelle Pfeiffer).

Fabulous Dawgs, The - From The Turtles Present The Battle of the Bands (concept album by The Turtles), 1968. Thanks to John R. Zillmer for this one.

Fabulous Stains, The - See The Stains

Fagan, Joey "The Lips" - From the film The Commitments (1991). Bible verse-spouting trumpet player played by Johnny Murphy. According to him, he's had a long career as a sideman, playing with most of the great soul players, The Beatles, and even the King himself. (Elvis, not fucking George VI). At the movie's end, he's back in the States, playing with Joe Tex. Who's been dead since 1982. So no telling what the real story is. See also The Commitments. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Fairies, The - Rock band that Fairly Oddfather Cosmo (Daran Norris) led back in the day. In the "Boys in the Band" episode of The Fairly Oddparents, the foursome: Pan on pan flute, Santa on drums, Ludwig van Beethoven on organ, and Cosmo on the electric triangle opened for teen sensation Chip Skylark (N'Sync's Chris Kirkpatrick). They got a lot of tomatoes in the face. Thanks to Alan for this one. (see also Chip Skylark)

Fairy, Jack - From the movie Velvet Goldmine (1998).

Faith + 1 - From the TV cartoon South Park (10/29/03). Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.

Faith, Stevie - From the TV show The A-Team (12/03/85). This rock star (Valerie Stevenson) is threatened by apparent Latin American terrorists?! So she does what anyone would do- call in The A Team! They hide her in a suburban neighborhood. Thanks to for this one.

Fame, Duke - Lead singer of Duke Fame and the Fame Throwers, this is the big cheesy more famous rock star Spinal Tap runs into in a Memphis hotel lobby in This Is Spinal Tap. The non-offensive cover of his '82 album "Ow" featuring his hit single "Cancer Dance" (b/w "I'm Your Puppet") shows Duke tied up and surrounded by bullwhip-wielding naked women, prompting Tap's classic comment there's "...such a fine line between stupid and ...clever." Duke Fame was portrayed by Paul Shortino. His manager is Terry Ladd (Howard Hesseman). (see also The Folksmen, The Regulars, Spinal Tap)

Fantanas, The - From Fanta soda ad campaign, 2002.

Farrell, Claudia - From the TV show My Three Sons (12/15/66).

Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids - From the TV show Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids 1972-1984. Hello Cleveland! Hello, Peter.

Fat, Black, Horny and Joe - From the animated TV show Family Guy (06/05/05). In the "Don't Make Me Over" episode Horace threatens to sell his bar The Drunken Clam, so the guys try to perk up attendance with karaoke night. Their karaoke performance of Journey song "Don't Stop Believing" goes over so well, they decide to form this rock band. Their first (and last) gig is at the Rhode Island State Penitentiary causes a riot- because they forgot to learn any songs to play! Lineup: Joe Swanson on keyboards, Cleveland Brown on bass, Glenn Quagmire on drums, and Peter Griffin on guitar. See also Billy Bob and the Nocturnal Emissions, Pearl Burton, Fat, Black, Horny and Joe, Olivia and Stewie, Stewie and the Cowtones, Garfunkel, Oates and Nash.

Fat Patty - From Maniac Mansion (PC computer game) from LucasFilm, 1988.

Fats Mallard & The Bluegrass Fireball - From The Turtles Present The Battle of the Bands (concept album by The Turtles), 1968. Thanks to John R. Zillmer for this one.

Favorite, Johnny - From the movie Angel Heart (1987). Thanks to Rob Terrell, and Kim Newman for this one.

Fawcett, Pharoah - From the TV show Fernwood 2-Nite/America 2-Night (04/27/78).

Fay, Dean - From the film The Commitments (1991). Sax player played by Félim Gormley. After the titular band breaks up, Fay trades life as a soul blower for a career as a jazzbo. At one point, Commitments manager Jimmy Rabbitte (Robert Arkins) calls him Dean "Mr. Nipple" Fay, but that nickname doesn't seem to stick. See also The Commitments. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Feedback - Guidance counselor Mr. Rosso's (Dave Allen) cover/bar band from the "Carded and Discarded" (1/10/2000) episode of Freaks and Geeks. They perform Alice Cooper's "Eighteen" and Grand Funk Railroad's "We're an American Band" at the bar The Rusty Nail. (see also Dimension)

Ferl Dixon and the Second Helping Boys - Traditional country & western band playing at the Chili Cook-Off in the "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer [The Mysterious Voyage of Homer]" episode (01/05/96) of The Simpsons. That's the one where he eats the Guatemalan insanity peppers and hallucinates.
Fermented Banana

Fermented Banana - From the web comic Wapsi Square (2001). The band- Jacqueline Bontemps (drums), Owen Albrecht (guitars/keyboards), Shelly Wahnee (bass)- took their name from an incident early in the strip, when another character (Monica) attempted to brush her teeth in the dark. Instead of toothpaste, she squeezed the contents of a fermented banana onto her toothbrush. Yeah, we're not buying the whole concept of a person keeping a fermented banana next to the sink either. Name origin strips here and here. See also The Pickledippers, Intentional Thumbprint. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Fern and Davy - From the TV show The Monkees (12/19/66). Thanks to David Herrick for this one.

Ferrino, Tony - From the TV movie The Tony Ferrino Phenomenon (1997). Ultra-cheesy romantic ladies man who looks like a unpleasant cross between Fabio and Yanni, with a dash of Kenny G. Played by Brit Steve Coogan. He was also in the UK TV special Introducing Tony Ferrino: Who and Why? A Quest (1997). Thanks to Bernd for this one.

Fiama, Johnny - From the TV show Muppets Tonight (10/12/97).

Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes - Did you know that the Star Wars cantina band had a name? No? Then you have severely underestimated geeks, my friend. Do not let it happen again. A plethora of info is available on this band of Bith "jizz" musicians from Clak'Dor VII: The Bith method of respiration makes them excellent wind instrument players, capable of holding a note practically indefinitely. Shortly after arriving on Tatooine, they were contracted to play exclusively for crimelord Jabba the Hutt. Unfortunately, they accepted a huge sum to secretly play rival crimelord Lady Valerian's wedding reception, figuring the money sufficient to get off Tatooine. However, after fleeing a Jabba-arranged imperial raid of the reception, the band lost their instruments gambling and ended up having to play at the Mos Eisley Cantina, to cover debts. The bar owner hid them from Jabba, but eventually he found out and as soon as the band heard, they fled the planet. While on the lam from Jabba the Hutt, they performed under the alias Bobbarine and the Wookiee Kotters until Jabba's death, which freed them to go back to their original name. They were later joined by Figrin's brother, Barquin, a kloo horn player of no small talent himself. Apparently, the soundtrack cut Cantina Band #1 is really called "Mad About Me" and "Cantina Band #2" is really called "If I Only Could Let Go and Cry." The band's membership is Ickabel G'ont (fanfar), Lirin Car'n (kloo horn), Nalan Cheel (bandfill), Tech Mo'r (Omnibox), Tedn Dahai (fanfar), Doikk Na'ts (fizzz/Dorenian Beshniquel), and of course band leader Figrin D'an (kloo horn, gasan string drum). He is the group's leader and negotiator, but has a bad habit of losing all the group's earnings in sabacc games. He's nicknamed "Fiery Figrin" for his hot, wailing style of kloo horn playing. His brother, Barquin D'an, played briefly with The Max Rebo Band. If you're really a geek, you recall that only six aliens were playing in the cantina scene, while seven are listed here. Well sir, Lirin Car'n is the Bith seated at a table in the bar scene, he only fills in on kloo horn when Figrin switches to gasan string drum. So there. In reality, the musicians were portrayed in the movie by Rick Baker, Phil Tippett, Jon Berg, Laine Liska, Doug Bestwick, and Tom St. Amand. The minute details come from the short story "We Don't Do Weddings: The Band's Tale" by Kathy Tyers, in the book "Tales From the Mos Eisley Cantina."

Final Warning - see Hart, Robert J. "Robbie"

Fingerbang -
Fingerbang at the mall.
From the "Something You Can Do With Your Finger" episode (07/12/00) of animated Comedy Central show South Park. Fat-ass kid Eric Cartman (voiced by Trey Parker) has a dream that he and his pals are in a boy band called Fingerbang and make ten million dollars. He figures it's a message from God and attempts to make it real. Since he only has 3 friends, Stan Marsh (voiced by Trey Parker), Kyle Brofslofski (voiced by Matt Stone) and Kenny McCormick (also voiced by Matt Stone), and all boy bands have 5 members, they hold auditions and accept Wendy Testaberger (voiced by Mary Kay Bergman), who is not a boy. None of the kids really know what the band's name means. Stan's dad, Randy (voiced by Trey Parker), forbids Stan to be in the group, because he was in a boy band himself, The Ghetto Avenue Boys. He hit the heights, but then quickly crashed and burned. As the rest of the band waits for Stan at their gig at the mall (they can't go on with only 4 members, they'll look like idiots), Mr. Marsh has a change of heart and drives his son to the show. But then Kenny is killed, as usual, and they're a foursome again. Then Mr. Marsh steps up to replace him. Delusional after performing in front of a sparse, indifferent crowd, Cartman and co. reject the imagined pressures of fame and dissolve the band. Thanks George Mealer & Charles for this one. (See also The Avenue Ghetto Street Boys, The Ghetto Avenue Boys, Jerome "Chef" McElroy, Timmy! and the Lords of the Underworld)

Fingers, Jimmy - From the movie Fingers (1977).

Firetown - From Sonic Disruptors #4 (DC comic book mini-series written by Mike Baron, drawn by Barry Crain & John Nyberg), Mar. 1988.

First Floor - From music video for song "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits, 198?.

First Mates, The - see Bird Brains, The

Fisher, Danny - See King Creole

Fisher, Gil - From the TV show SCTV (1976-1981).

Fitch, Stan - The first all-dead singer from "The Old Gay Whistle Test" sketch on Rutland Weekend Television, Eric Idle's post-Python TV show. He "performs" his song "Even Further Beyond The Grave." He just lies there silently as the cameras pan and swoop around him and his acoustic guitar. Mantra Robinson, Splint, and Toad the Wet Sprocket)

Fitchly, Stiles - From the TV cartoon Rocko's Modern Life (10/22/95). Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Five Aces, The - In the "Slater's Sister" episode (10/31/92)of Saved by the Bell, the gang has a doo-wop group instead of their regular pop/rock band (Zack Attack). FOR NO APPARENT REASON. They sing "Ginger, My Love" and "Come, Go with Me" at their high school sock hop. The band was the following combination of regulars: Screech Powers (Dustin Diamond, Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar), Albert Clifford "A.C" Slater (Mario López), Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies) and newer character Tori Scott (Leanna Creel). Thanks to Hooper_X for this one. (See also Hot Sundae, Stevie, Zack Attack)

Five Heartbeats, The - Robert Townsend was the motor behind the eponymous 1991 film, writing, directing and starring in The Five Heartbeats. The quintet was an early sixties doo-wop/motown/R & B type combo along the lines of say, the Temptations.

5 Neat Guys - Late 50's/early 60's Pat Boone, goody-two-shoes vocal group all in pastel sweaters in a couple of commercials on the sketch comedy show SCTV. Lined up, their sweater letters spelled 5-N-E-A-T. They didn't have names, but 5 was John Candy; N, Joe Flaherty; E, Eugene Levy; A, Dave Thomas; and T, Rick Moranis. In the May 22, 1981 episode, their Neatest Hits album featured: "Who Made the Egg Salad Sandwiches," "Let's Have a Party in My Rec Room," "Patsy Has the Largest Breasts in Town," and "Don't Step on my Clip on Tie." The Nov. 6, 1981 episode retreads the concept with their 5 Neat Guys Gold album: "Mom Pressed the Crease in my Chinos," "Should we Double Date with Stan and Wendy," "Pimples and Pockmarks," and "I Got a Hickey." (See also The Happy Wanderers, The Queenhaters, The Ramblers, Jackie Rogers Jr., Jackie Rogers Sr.)

5 Sins - From the movie 5 Sins (1998). Porn parody of The Spice Girls and their movie Spice World. Lineup: Sporty Sin (Chloe), Scary Sin (Dee), Baby Sin (Toni James), Ginger Sin (Ruby), and Posh Sin (Stephanie Swift). Thanks to SPIDER! That's Right SPIDER! for this one.

Flack and the Calamity - See Darryl and the Chaos

Flame - Real English glam rock band Slade played this band in 1975's bleak portrait Flame (a.k.a. Slade In Flame).

Flamin' Daemons - See Spinal Tap

Flaming Creatures, The - Played by real band Placebo in 1998's Velvet Goldmine. They play a band in a club performing a cover version of T-Rex's "20th Century Boy." (see also Brian Slade, Curt Wild, The Venus In Furs)

Flaming Dogs - From the movie Touch (1997). Thanks to Les Hetherington for this one.

Flaming Snot - From the TV cartoon Pepper Ann (10/24/97 & 02/13/00). Thanks to toutsweets and devojane for this one.

Flannels, The - From the TV show Home Improvement (09/29/98).

Flat-Top Tony and the Purple Canoes - See Indomitable Spirit

Flavor Babes, The - From the TV cartoon Sabrina the Animated Series (). Thanks to Jeffrey Morris for this one.

Fleminem - From the TV show All That (2003). Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Flesh Fair Band - From the movie Artificial Intelligence: A.I. (2001). The heavy-metalish (no musical progress for a century, it seems) house band at the future-hick robot demolition derby event. Played by real industrial band Ministry. Thanks to Alan Benson, Jason Torchinsky for this one.

Fletcher, Lacy - From the TV show Magnum, P.I. (02/21/85). From the "Let Me Hear the Music" episode. Played in flashback by Robby Weaver. This counry singer hires Magnum to track down some long lost songs long dead country singer George Lee Jessup (Robby Weaver) wrote for his girlfriend. See also Lacy Fletcher.

Flintstone Canaries, The - Cartoon character Fred Flintstone puts together this barbershop quartet in "The Flintstone Canaries" episode (10/24/64) of The Flintstones. Fred forms the group to win a contest on the "Hum Along With Herman" TV show, but they can't sing. They find Fred's pal Barney turns out to be a natural tenor- but only when he's in the bath. They get him to join the group and the group ends up on the show singing in a bathtub - not for the contest, but for the show's sponsor's, Softsoap.

Flips, The - From the comic book DC Showcase #59 (1965). Rock 'n' roll trio framed for crimes actually done by real criminals disguised as the band. The case is solved by the brand new Teen Titans.

Flood, Georgia - From the movie Georgia (1995). Reasonably big time female country and western star, shown singing Stephen Foster's 1859 "No More Hard Times." Mousy, with big ,unflattering glasses, she's married to Jake (Ted Levine, who is determined to do his lines without opening his mouth), has two kids, and is sensible and sober. Jake used to manage the band, but hasn't for 6 years; he teaches now. Unfortunately, Georgia is sister to Sadie Flood (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a walking, talking human trainwreck who weants to be a singer, but ends up leeching money and addicted to drugs. Georgia's band (The Holders) is played by real musicans Steven Soles, Kevin Stringfellow, Orville Johnson, Steve Smith, Kristen K. Gamble, Kevin A. Jones, Bruce M. Wirth, and Joel Hamilton. Thanks to Galen Black, Dan at NonsuchWorks for this one. See also Sadie Flood, Bobby Mellon, Trucker.

Flood, Sadie - From the movie Georgia (1995). Jennifer Jason Leigh starred in and co-produced this movie, where she gives a tour-de-force performance as this would-be singer who's a straight-up loser and fuck-up. She's a druggie, a drunkard, and a flake so brain fried she thinks raccoon eye mascara looks good. She steals food. She is also everything about Rock and Roll except the talent or the fun. She staggers through the movie like Nancy Spungeon meeting Courtney Love and although she's nigh intolerable, you eventually get to see Jennifer Jason Leigh's ass and breasts , so it works out. Her more successful country singer sister puts it best: "She swallows people up" and "She shouldn't sing." She starts out singing back up for minor R&B-er Trucker, but goes off to see her sister in Seattle and hooks back up with old flame Bobby Mellon who gives her a job singing back-up in his cover band. She freaks and passes out at their Jewish wedding gig, and claims it was the "Nyquil." Sure, sure... white, powdery Nyquil, babe. How fucked up is she? Well: "The other day, man, I couldn't find the door." Wow. Her highlight singing is at a Northwest AIDS Foundation benefit gig, when Georgia lets Sadie on stage to sing Van Morrison's "Take Me Back" which she ruins, ruins, ruins with her vocal histrionics. It's so bad it's bad. It's fast fowarding fun. Amazingly Georgia doesn't just let her die on stage, she starts singing backup for her, which seems to make Sadie sing worse. Eventually she gets so fried on heroin, and her sister sends her a plane ticket to fly back up to Seattle and get into a rehab. Only Sadie can't get on the plane cause she isn't wearing shoes! She gives the detox nurse injection technique pointers! She ends the movie having learnt little or nothing, fronting another nameless small-time band, played by Marc Olsen on guitar/harmonica, Joey Veneziani on drums, and Guy Davis on bass. Thanks to Charles Rempel, Dan at NonsuchWorks for this one. See also Georgia Flood, Bobby Mellon, Trucker.

Flower and Vegetable Show, The - From the TV show7th Heaven (11/16/98).

Flypaper - From the movie The Princess Diaries (2001). Michael Moscovitz's (Robert Schwartzman) band. He's the brother of Princess Mia's (Anne Hathaway) best friend, Lilly (Heather Matarazzo). This band features two members of real band Rooney, namely Ned Brower, and Taylor Locke. The rest of the band was played by Shan Elliot and Harold Carter. Thanks to lori for this one.

Flyposters, The - From the Bridgend County Borough Council's Clean Up The County campaign (2004).

Folksmen, The - The usual opening act for Spinal Tap on tour. They had one appearance on TV show Saturday Night Live and appeared in the The Return of Spinal Tap special. The 60's folk cousins of Spinal Tap, as it were. They frequently open for Tap on the road. Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest are Jerry Palter, Alan Barrows and Mark Shubb, although not necessarily in that order. (See also Spinal Tap, Duke Fame)

Fontane, Johnny - Greasy crooner and mob boss Don Corleone's (Marlon Brando) godson in the immortal 1972 film The Godfather. Cause of him we have the infamous horse head in the bed scene and the "an offer he can't refuse" line. Johnny (real crooner Al Martino) goes whining to the Don (Marlon Brando) to get him a part in a film that will save his career. The Don dispatches Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall) to persuade film producer Jack Woltz (John Marley) to see reason, by popping the severed head of Woltz's racehorse into his bed. But the Don and Johnny go way back; years ago, the Don and right-hand henchman Luca Brasi (Lenny Montana) held a gun to a bandleader's head to help Johnny get out of his contract. Later in the movie, after the Corleone family muscles their way into a Vegas casino, they ask Fontane to appear there 5 times a year and persuade his show-biz buddies to also appear. Fontane is happy to oblige. The character and events are allegedly based on Frank Sinatra and his, again allegedly, receiving mob assistance in landing his role in From Here to Eternity.

Fontaine, Vic -
James Darren Album Cover
Album cover.
Former Las Vegas headliner and Time Tunnel star James Darren played this recurring Rat Pack-era style singer in the sci-fi series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. A mere holodeck character (created by writer/producer Ira Stephen Behr), he was thus doubly fake! James Darren actually had a number one hit in 1961 with the Grammy-nominated song "Goodbye Cruel World." Riding the tenuous popularity of his Star Trek character, Darren released a 1999 comeback-esque album,
Vaguely Demeaning Sticker
Vaguely demeaning album sticker.
This One's From the Heart, chock full of Sinatra-era classics that mister Vic Fontaine would be right at home with. Ring-a-ding-ding, you bozos!







Fondel - From Soul Music (novel by Terry Pratchett), 1995.

Foregone Conclusion - From the TV show The Office (07/30/01). Office manager David Brent's (Ricky Gervais) former rock band from the brilliantly uncomfortable BBC series. From the "Training" episode. He sings a bit of their old song "Free Love on the Free Love Freeway." Thanks to Kevin Cogliano, sarah ribstein, Galen Black for this one.

Foreign Agents, The - From the "Find the Monkees" episode (01/23/67) of The Monkees. Black trenchcoated (pre-Columbine) rock trio that sneaks around carrying their band's gimmick a bit far. They, along with the Monkees are all desperate to audition for eccentric TV producer Hubbell Benson (Carl Ballantine), who has put invitations out to all the local bands, except, it would seem, the Monkees. (See also The Four Martians, The Jolly Green Giants, Irene Chomsky)

Foster, Johnny - From the TV show Matt Houston (03/20/83).

Four Electric Cows, The - From the book Wife (1975). A group of self-described "singers and seers and poem-sayers and milkers of language and givers of language" mentioned in Bharati Mukherjee's first novel, 1975's "Wife." The Cows, who are "four fat young men with suety shoulders and long hair tied in ponytails" apparently straddle the line between performance poetry and music. You might think "hey, that sounds like The Last Poets." But based on the sample of the Cows' work included in the novel, The Last Poets have nothing to fear. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

4 For U - From Mastercard TV commercial, ca. 1998-2000. Thanks to Howard Thompson for this one.

Four Insects, The - From the animated TV show The Flintstones (01/22/65). Nasty little Beatles parody from "The Hatrocks and the Gruesomes" episode. She said Yeah Yeah Yeah! Thanks to Angela Manning, Kenneth McKinney for this one.

Four Martians, The - Four nameless guys in goony red and gold "sci-fi" costumes with pantyhose over their heads. A "gimmick" band, ya see. They, along with the Monkees are all desperate to audition for eccentric TV producer Hubbell Benson (Carl Ballantine), who has put invitations out to all the local bands, except, it would seem, the Monkees. From the "Find the Monkees" episode (01/23/67) of The Monkees. (See also The Foreign Agents, The Jolly Green Giants, Irene Chomsky)

Four Peters, The - From the animated TV series Family Guy (07/24/05). In one of the show's trademark nonsensical flashbacks, Peter briefly recalls singing with this a capella classical music quartet with three other guys who look and sound exactly like him. From the "Model Misbehavior" episode. Thanks to Mark Miller for this one.

4 Skore - Chris, Calvin, Cool Chris, and Todd are the members of this boy bad featured in the 2002 season premiere of King of the Hill (11/03/02). Upon hearing them at the record store listening booth, patriarch Hank Hill (Mike Judge) comes to the conclusion that they are "kinda like doo-wop." But when, at their Houston concert, they strip down and start dancing in a very non-doo-wop way, Hank is appalled. Thanks to Alan for this one. See also The Bluegrass Brothers, Cane and the Stubborn Stains, The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience, The Harris Twins, Pimp Franklin.

Four Swine, The - In the "Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers" episode (10/3/66) of The Monkees, this band's evil manager, Nick Trump (Andre Philippe), buddies up to the Monkees and peppers them with bad advice in an attempt to keep them from beating his band at an upcoming battle of the bands. He even calls in a favor from his mob friends to kidnap the Monkees the evening of the contest. After much shenanigans, of a zany nature, the Monkees escape and make it to the contest, only for both bands to lose to Lester Crabtree and the Three Crabs. The Four Swine themselves only briefly appear in the episode, looking like Hell's Angels rejects and playing an instrumental that sounds suspiciously like some of the show's incidental music.

Fox, Neil - From the movie Uptown Girls (2003). Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.

Fox, Victor - From the movie Unconditional Love (2002).

Franklin and Gob in the studio

Franklin - From the TV series Arrested Development (04/17/05). An African-American ventriloquist dummy who promoted racial healing by duetting with George "Gob" Bluth II (Will Arnett) during "Righteous Brothers," the season two finale episode. The duo spent $5,000 making the album Franklin Comes Alive, as a birthday gift for Gob's brother Michael (Jason Bateman). (Gob borrowed the 5K from Michael, of course.) The album included a truly stunning cover of Bryan Adams' "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" and this wonderful musical exchange:
Gob: "It ain't easy being white."
Franklin: "It ain't easy being brown."
G: "All this pressure to be bright."
F: "I got children all over town."
Sadly, the African-American studio engineer walked out in protest at this point, so we didn't hear the rest of what was surely going to be a sensitive and nuanced treatment of race. Thanks to Alan Benson for this one.
Franklin Comes Alive!

Frank, Billie - The main character from the not-so-successful 2001 Mariah Carey vehicle Glitter. It's pseudo-autobiographical, but still predictable rags to riches type story set in the early '80s. Julian Dice (Max Beesley) is her manager/lover/producer/svengali.

Franks, Happy - In the amusing bit of period retro 30's screwball comedy fluff that is 1998's The Imposters, character actor Steve Buscemi plays this suicidally depressed cruise ship singer. A guy named Happy who's sad! This is irony so cheap, the filmmakers should pay us! His agent, who he loved like a brother, stole his wife, who he loved like a mother and a hooker. Although his character Starts off breaking down midsong, he (and everyone else) ends up happy and paired off by the finale, in the grand tradition of screwball comedies.

Freakware - From Freakware (enhanced CD by closerlook.com), 1999.

Freddie and The Red Hots - Fifties rock and roll band from the "Stolen Melodies" (2/2/79) episode of Happy Days. They steal the song "Moonlight Love" from Leather and the Suedes. Naturally, Fonzie has to set things right, in this instance by pulling off Freddie's (Fred Fox, Jr.) hair piece on the TV show "Sok Hop." (see Leather and the Suedes)

Freddy the Flute - From the TV show H.R. Pufnstuf (1969). Thanks to Chris Gruin for this one.

Fredrickson, Freddy - From the movie That Thing You Do (1996).

Free World, The - The rich rappers who are making it in Eminem's semi-autobiographical movie 8 Mile (2002). They totally get their asses kicked by B. Rabbit (Eminem) in the final rap contest, when B. takes a "leave it to Beaver" insult and turns it around. See also B-Rabbit.

Freeze, JT - Really lame rapper who appears at a 16-plus club in the Village on the late-period episode "Warning: A Double-Lit Candle Can Cause a Meltdown" (10/17/91) of The Cosby Show. Freeze (Special Ed), who ends the episode by dancing with Pam (Erika Alexander), dresses sort of like a D.A.I.S.Y. Age rapper and drops such written-by-a-45-year-old-white-guy rhymes as "Rudy, Danielle, and Susan so fine, I'll always remember this birthday of mine." Thanks to Alan for this one.

Fresh Step - A spoof of manufactured "boy bands" created by the writers on The Late Show with David Letterman, and named after a brand of kitty litter. They were supposedly from Orlando, Florida. They appeared twice on Letterman, (first on 03/03/1999) and once on MTV's Total Request Live. DJ, Jeremy, Corey, Jamie and Brad performed "Ya Gotta Be Fresh" and "Talk to the Hand" allegedly from an upcoming movie of the same name starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Van Der Beek and not to be confused with their other song, "Don't Talk to the Hand (Girl, Talk to the Heart)." The band was actually played by dancers of the Broadway show "Footloose."

Friedkin Family Singers, The - From the TV show Fernwood 2Nite/America 2-Night (04/10/78).

Friends Indeed, The - A uniformed Salvation-Army-type oompah band, who can take any beautiful melody and turn it into a march. From the "How Not to Manage a Rock Group" episode (4/28/68) of forgotten series The Mothers-In-Law. Led by a fiercely mugging Joe Besser, the fifth, (possibly sixth) of the Three Stooges. The titular mothers hire them as their last minute backup band to play "Some Enchanted Evening." The mothers already scared off scheduled rock group The Warts with their squareness and they don't want to waste the nonrefundable studio time. See also The Warts, The Friends Indeed and The Mamas and Papas-In-Law

Friml, Bonita - From the movie Jinxed! (1982). Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.

Frog, Michigan J. - From the classic Warner Bros. cartoon, One Froggy Evening (1955), and recently resurrected as the mascot of the WB tv network. This memorable one-shot character is hidden in a box in a cornerstone of a building being demolished. Discovered by a construction worker, he bursts into toe-tapping, roaring twenties-style song and dance numbers- but only when alone with the worker, frustrating the worker's attempts to get rich off him. He's only referred to in the cartoon as the singing frog, the "Michigan J. Frog" name musta come later. Singing voice by Bill Roberts.

The Frogtown Hollow Jubilee Jug-Band - From the muppet TV special "Emmett Otter's Jug-Band Christmas." Emmet Otter formed this band with his pals to play Waterville's First Annual Christmas Talent Contest. They rehearse the song "Barbecue," but when that idiot Yancy Woodchuck plays it in the competition before they do, they quickly rehearse up another song, "Brothers." They don't win the competition (see The Nightmare), but dammit they had heart! And they did get a paying gig singing at the Riverside Rest restaurant owned by Doc Bullfrog (not Kermit, he just narrated). This semi-otter band featured Emmet Otter (Jerry Nelson) on washtub bass, Harvey (Jim Henson) the muskrat on kazoo and washboard, and Wendel (voiced by Dave Goelz) the porcupine on jug, and Charlie the otter on cigar box banjo. Emmet's mother, Alice Otter also performed at the contest. Composer Paul Williams composed the songs. See also The Nightmare

Frost, Max - See Max Frost and the Troopers

Frozen Embyos - From the TV show My So-Called Life (12/08/94). Thanks to Blossom, and Colin McGinnis for this one.

Frozen Gold - From Espedair Street (novel by Iain Banks), 1987. Thanks to Melissa Fehr for this one.

Frozen Heads, The - From the TV show Diff'rent Strokes (11/15/85). Thanks to Chad Swiatecki, Jon Pennington, and HALI GARRETT for this one.

Fry, Philip J. - From the animated TV show Futurama (08/10/03). In "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings" episode, the show's last, Fry becomes a holophoner star thanks to a deal with the Robot Devil to swap hands with him. The holophonor was introduced in "Parasites Lost" (01/21/01). His new robot hands give him the dexterity to express the music in his soul. Even on beginner pieces like "The Grumpy Snail." Soon, he's selling his two record set, Fry's Greatest Holophonor Hits, on TV and everything. Hedonismbot then commissions him to write an entire opera. Leela: Orphan of the Stars looks like a hit, until the Robot Devil interferes at intermission to get his hands back.

Frye, Dusty - In Woody Allen's 1986 flick, Hannah and Her Sisters, Daniel Stern has a cameo as this rock star client of accountant Elliot (Michael Caine), who says he's a trillionaire and has like, six gold records. The nouveau-riche, faux pas-ing gauchehole has come to moody artist Frederick (Max Von Sydow) for some big, wall-fillin' art, since he just bought this place in Southampton with a lotta wall space, ya know? Preferably something in puce. An outraged Frederick gives 'em the bum rush, but not before a smitten Elliot manages to plant a serious smooch on Sydow's girlfriend, Lee (Barbara Hershey), who is also Elliot's sister-in-law! The movie also features a cameo by real band The 39 Steps.

Fuck Ups, The - From the TV show Mr. Show (11/28/97).

Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans - From the 1994 indie flick Clerks, that launched director Kevin Smith on an unsuspecting world. Silent Bob's (Kevin Smith himself) cousin Olaf Oleeson (John Henry Westhead) is visiting from Moscow, Russia, where he fronts this metal band. Silent Bob's obnoxious pal Jay (Jason Mewes) exhorts him to sing a snatch of "Berserker" for a girl to prove it: "My love for you is like a truck! Berserker! Would you like some making fuck? Berserker!" His English is not so good. In Smith's 2001 flick, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, recurring character Jay is wearing a Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans t-shirt. Thanks to Tom Fish and Hooper_X for this one.

Fucking Fuckers, The - From Living In Greytown (Internet comic strip by Dave Kelly), 2000.

Fuddonna - From the "Tiny Toon Music Television" episode (02/01/91) of cartoon Tiny Toon Adventures. Elmer Fudd in Madonna cone-bra drag. That's it. See also Def Zepplin, Skinhead O'Connell, Ruffee, Vanilla Lice.

Fudgecake - See Big Mountain Fudgecake.

Full Moon - From the TV show Murder, She Wrote (03/06/94). Thanks to Charles Rempel for this one.

Funky C Funky Do - A briefly mentioned hip hop-looking duo whose song "I Do Believe We're Naked," knocks the celebrity benefit tune "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well" out of the number one spot. This Simpsons episode, "Radio Bart" (01/09/92) is still one of my all time favorites. See also The Be Sharps, Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, and Lisa, Melvin and the Squirrels.

Funky Jan - From the animated movie The Devil and Daniel Mouse (1978). Thanks to Simon Beck for this one.

Funky Tongues, The - From the TV show Full House (03/31/92).

Future Villain Band - Aerosmith (Steven Tyler, Tom Hamilton, Joey Kramer, Joe Perry, and Brad Whitford) play the bad guys in 1978's pile of crapola, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Their mantra is "We hate love, we hate joy, we love money." Martin Sunk, as Father Sun (Alice Cooper) brainwashes an army for them. Dr. Maxwell Edison (Steve Martin) also helps brainwash an army for them, but in a different way. In F.V.B.'s confrontation with Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Peter Frampton pushes Steve Tyler off a tall thing and he falls and dies. Trivia Time! This choice role was originally offered to KISS, who turned it down to ruin their careers with KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park instead. (See also Lucy and the Diamonds and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)

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