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Sheila Sands
A lounge singer character created by comedian/writer/voiceover actor/Regretsy creator April Winchell. According to Winchell's site, Sands is
a bloated, bottle-blonde singer from Truckee who played every run-down showroom west of the Rockies. She had a crème de menthe habit, and was fond of rewriting the lyrics to popular standards – mostly because she couldn’t afford sheet music and would have been too drunk to remember the real words anyway
Sands also appeared on the cover of "cocktail nation" band Love Jones' 1993 Here's to the Losers album. (It's OK that you don't remember that. Most people know it best for filling the "Misc. - L" section of the local used CD store's discount bin.)