Ronnie Matthews

This olive-skinned heartthrob of indeterminate national origin and wildly inconsistent accent was featured in the "Curly Snaps/Pre-Teen Scream" episode of Nickelodeon's cartoon Hey Arnold (first aired 23 Sept. 1998). Matthews, whose big hit is "I Saw Your Face and Wow," is an amalgam of Ricky Martin, Robbie Williams, and one or more members of Milli Vanilli. He travels with a large entourage (which includes a video game consultant, personal trainer, personal psychic, personal one-on-one basketball opponent, and idiot brother-in-law), and prefers that his fans ask simple yes-and-no questions. During the episode, Phoebe Heyerdahl (the token smart Asian kid) and Helga Pataki (rude, opinionated, horribly monobrowed harridan-in-training) go backstage during one of Matthews' concerts. After the show, they learn that Matthews, who is either "the voice of our generation" (Phoebe) or a "lame no-talent guitarist" (Helga), does not write his own songs, can't play guitar, and doesn't actually sing on much of his album.