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No talent ass clowns
Band History
Formed in 1995, world-famous heavy metal band The No Talent Ass Clowns are known for their signature tune, Blow Chunks Ballet (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8pPtYepzTE). Front man Lars Gunblade (far left in photo) has caused controversy by tasing concertgoers from the stage (which has caused a number of fatalities), getting hundreds of groupies pregnant (carefully charted in a blog) and faking the band's death in February 2011. Since their return to touring, the band has broken up, then reformed two days later. Bassist Tarquin Chard was dismissed from the band for "asshole-ism" but he rejoined the band two days later. Band members are rumored to dislike each other intensely but are keeping the band together because of the money and the groupies.
The No Talent Ass Clowns have been banned from the annual Historic Dildo Days Festival in Dildo, Newfoundland after wrecking a bed and breakfast and, as rumor has it, getting Mayor Mickey Stubbs' daughter pregnant.
In 2011, the band was kicked out of a sex addiction clinic in California for staging orgies. At least one fundamentalist Christian church in North Carolina worships the band and their CDs in spite of abundant ass-related lyrics in every song.
Singer Lars Gunblade maintains a long-standing feud with Foo Fighters front man, Dave Grohl after the two had a falling out in the 1990s. Grohl now refuses to even acknowledge that he knows Gunblade.
The [blog][1] on their web site chronicles their various seamy exploits and strange touring venues, including Consumption Auditorium in Kings Nose, NJ (which still hasn't been condemned).
Band Members
Current members
- Lars Gunblade - singer (1995-present)
- Vas Defrens - guitar (1995-present)
- Tarquin Chard - bass (1995-present)
- Joey Van Dundro - drums/cow bell (1995-present)
Former members
- Vulgar Smith - drums (1995)
Discography
- Behind The Times (1995)
- Pucker Factor (1999)
- Live at Consumption Auditorium (2003)
- Say Hello To My Posterior (2008)
- Ass On Demand (2012)
Record Label
Since 1995, the band has been with No, Not There! Records. The label is owned by infamous Jerry Gold, who is also the Ass Clowns manager. Gold is often called upon to spring band members from jail. Remarkably, Lars Gunblade served no jail time after killing six concertgoers with a taser in 2011. Gold is rumored to have paid off more than two dozen police departments to keep the band out of jail and on tour.
Controversies
In 2010, ex-Ass Clowns drummer, Vulgar Smith, was killed shortly after writing a negative blog about singer Lars Gunblade. Gunblade was suspected but never charged.
The release of their 2012 CD Ass On Demand sparked a wave of protests across the country from conservatives who objected to the cover art as well as the over-the-top ass-related content.
