Drew Boley

Aspiring rocker who struggles to break into the late 1980s LA hair metal scene in the stage musical Rock of Ages. The fact that there's a musical based around songs like Whitesnake ("Here I Go"), late-period Starship (yes, "We Built This City"), and Night Ranger ("Sister Christian," natch) is proof, if any was needed, that we are all now living in a story from The Onion. Anyway, he struggles, meets a girl, loses girl to big-deal rocker Stacee Jaxx sings some songs, is pressured to become a member of a boy band, wins back the girl, and then settles down with the girl in a house in Glendale. Glendale? Hmm. Didn't realize that this was a tragedy.